i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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