I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.