I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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