Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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