she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
