He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
