did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
