At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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