barbara walters just said penis...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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