I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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