Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
