drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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