We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
