I hope mine doesn't look like that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
