I wish my penis had an off switch
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
