man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
