I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
