Just fell off a train. Bad.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
