Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
