the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
