I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
