I am puke
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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