oh god the rape fog is back!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
