Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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