I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize