i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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