Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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