I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
