umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
