i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
