The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So here I am, sexting at work.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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