HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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