Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
