sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize