i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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