He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
