I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
