Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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