No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
