Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
