brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
did you just send me my own nude
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
