4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
