Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So much Jack, so little girl.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
