i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
