In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
