i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
