If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
