dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
