why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
