Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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