Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
