I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
