Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize