my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
