Fuck appropriateness.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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