Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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