I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
