oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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