Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
two words...techno handjob
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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