so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
